What does a relationship give ?

This is one thought which is running a lot, around in the social media market and many people suggest that we make this the basis of how we should choose the relationships around us. Its considered a good practice when we ask "what is in it for me?"

But Someone changed my thoughts about this. This was someone who only gave love and accepted love freely, my besties dog smilo. Unfortunately we lost him some days back and its a rent in my heart which keeps reopening often.

Even in his last few hours he could identify me, still gather all the energy to wag his tail and shower me with affection some more. We were really fortunate that he entered our lives, as a golden shining light with lots of fluff, floof and love. He was like my childhood dream come true. He accepted me as his friend too, just in a jiffy. I have seen him grow with me. His love me however never diminshed or even waver. Once i stayed the night at his place and he slept right with me. I was indeed loved and honoured. 

He would greet us at any hour with equal enthusiasm, love and his complete self. If there is one thing i try to learn from him, his selfless love, his affection and his true nature. He trusted us, even when we didnt understand much. He was the apple of his mothers eyes. He gave the joy to my friend's mother which no one else could. His love was complete, whole and selfless. He was a love fur ball and my heart aches to right it as past tense. I dont believe in being a cat or dog person, i believe in love, for I am both.

He never asked for anything, didnt stop loving us, can get angry sometimes, sad if we leave but can never stop loving us. We know he still wags his tail, everytime we look up or miss him. I just wish him the best of what is ahead. May we unite again over the rainbow.

People say losing a pet is so traumatic, that we must never. But what about the love we experience? what about the hidden part of our heart which they access and bring to light to us? There is no substitute. A part of us remains unlocked without loving deeply, and no one better than him to have unlocked it. His leaving us, brought floods of tears, sobs and pain, but every minute spent with him brought endless joy, love and softness too. There is no quantification of this love or loss, but i have usually not seen these words separate. But i still wonder if we can ever lose the love we experience?

As my teacher says, a cloud never dies.

We all inter-are.

He is now a part of me. He lives in me. I love you always smilo.

What could he give me in this unqiue relationship? Himself. His love.

I hope I made him feel loved and cherished, for i will miss him everyday.

Grief has a way of melting hearts, Sadness has a way of opening hearts and letting the light, the love in and out.

Greed

 It is part of human nature; every human possesses it. We all express it in benign ways and malignant ways. But we are usually most unaware of it, for its manifestations is in the most subtle ways, mostly going unnoticed by the self. When do we become aware of it? When we are at stake! Not when we are performing the greedy activity, but when a greedy activity is being performed at our expense. 

Today, a very interesting event brought this to my notice. Few of my glass bowls broke in my lunch bag and I decided its safer for them to stay that way and go away from my home that way. But my domestic help, when she came over, was blinded by the greed of the bag. SO she emptied broken glass into a plastic bag, making sure it became as unsafe as hell. And i honestly for the love of god could not find out, why she was doing what she was doing, until my mom told me what she was doing and why. I was okay with taking the bag, but not spread glass in the home, my mom or me walk in barefoot.

That's when I realized the eternal relationship I was imagining and chasing was my greed. Something I was blinded to, something my partners had been suffering. I wanted them to be with me, for this imaginary life in my head. I was always blinded by that vision, failing to see when the companion ship was pain for both, for more. Love feels comfortable, care feels natural in love and god has helped me understand that love. The more I wanted, the more I begged, the more unnatural the relationships became. The more painful for both, the more unbearable for both. 

The most difficult part of all this was the understanding of the fact, that greed and desires, fortunately/unfortunately only increase if fulfilled. The more desires are fulfilled, the more we have, probably larger in magnitude and more complex, sometimes borrowed, sometimes trauma created.

The only way is to let these go, but not with pain, not with a sense of sacrifice or helplessness, but in all power and strength. 

Nothing is necessary, everything is optional. Everything is temporary, the mind creates an illusion, where that one thing which we lack, becomes the center of our mind, body and hurts us, lures us and we forget everything else, we cross the lines of obsession, desperation only to make sure we experience the lack, vivdly and, feel alive with it. We identify with it and then boom! Life goes down a shitty rabbit hole, our vision is tunneled, everything else forgotten, and we become the darkness. 

The breakthrough is then when we realize, its now not achievable. Once we are forced to give up our deepest desire, is that we actually begin to ponder on the sanity of the desire in the first place. Then starts another journey, a journey where we understand how greed- affects our food intake - volumes and types- abusing the body?; our clothes, our attires - greedy for attention? validation?; our professions - greedy for respect, fame? money? social status?

Very fine line between need, want and greed.

I would here in definitely suggest everyone watches a movie called tumbbad.

Ya so, i did get very angry with her, for it jeopardized my moms and my safety, yet i realise in greed we always harm someone. ALWAYS. Nature has been informing us all the time.